Lordie it’s been a while, too long of while, since I have put my fingers on the keys. Since I have touched my camera. Since I have let my thoughts flow through word and image. It has been too long. And as a result, perhaps, I am lost in a myriad of thoughts. Ahhh where to begin? Love. Life. Compassion. Unity. Solitude. Peace. Chaos. Tranquility. Change. Constancy. So I begin my blogging anew with just one thought – fortitude. The strength and beauty of just one among many seemingly the same.
I invite you to swing over to my friend Christine’s blog, Quasi Agitato, to read my guest post entitled #Heaven in which I get to chat a bit about my #love of #Instagram and my favorite #s … Be sure to read some of her posts; absolutely brilliant!
By the way – I haven’t posted on here in a while. Sorry! That damn thing called “work” is getting in the way of so much fun stuff! Stay tuned though, I’ve got some edits I’m working on and lots of thoughts I’m ready to share.
Whatever happened to my blog? Seemingly I have forgotten about it. “Not true!,” I say. Funny thing having to have a job and work to support a family. I am sure you all are no strangers to that indeed.
This past year has been a tough one. I was out of work for basically then entire school year due to another shoulder surgery due to another work-related injury. Money was tight and I sadly sold my camera to pay bills. A mother must do what a mother must do. I was able to find a used Fuji X100 which has held me over. My iPhone helped a bit too. Gotta love Instagram. One day I will build my DSLR kit again.
During my recuperation, I discovered yoga. And I wonder why I hadn’t started practicing sooner. I also rediscovered my love of being a mother. I often found myself wondering how I managed to work full-time, raise two kids on my own, help my kids through their special needs, take care of a house, and all that good stuff. But again, we moms we do what we must.
I finally got another job. I am pleased so far. I am not in the classroom any longer but am a specialist kind of transition consultant. And I like that I can shape this job into what works best for me and the students. And my team – they are a good group of people.
Along with work, my kids, my family, and yoga… I am still finding time for photography. It brings me a certain peace.
I have one tiny dolphin tattoo; my sisters and I share the “same one.” My dad drew the picture and we went together to all get the same design. Kind of a sister bonding thing. Well fast forward 20-ish years later and I am now semi-covered in ink. Each piece tells a particular, often poignent story. My friends Sean Rhodes and Kris Dilworth of Tough Luck Tattoo have been the ones to put my stories into image across the landscape of my body. (Oh click on a pic to see it larger!). Peace & happy tattooing!
On occasion I’m stuck inside: weather, kids, working at home, boredom, comfort, solice, peace, chores … whatever. Just a few shots as of late from times when I’ve been stuck inside.
PS – that bike is waiting to come off the wall until the weather is sure to be nicer more consistently. I am not a cold and/or rainy weather rider!
My first tattoo was a tiny dolphin I got more than 20 years ago. My two sisters and I got the same one; my Dad drew the picture. It was a sister bonding thing. Fast forward to 2008, when my daughter was 8 years old and we had some literally near death experiences with her, that I knew what my next tattoo would be – the symbolism, the words, the meaning of it all was clear. The story began on my arm: plum blossom; two sparrows; a chop by CHI PAI SHIH. Then it grew and grew. My life. It’s message. My failures. My triumphs. My children. My love. My passion. My resiliency. So there is my self portrait – in ink.
When I sit to write – I generally have something really witty and funny to say about the nuttiness that is my life. But my fingers get going and my thoughts get a whirling. Then I get all reflective and thinky. When I write – it is the only time I have to think. When I shoot – it is the only moment I have to stop. That’s why I love photography and writing so much. They fit. (oh – the slideshow is at the bottom if you don’t want to read all this!)
I suppose that statement might reflect my attitude about the New Year ahead. With each new year that passes I say, “this year is going to be a good year.” There are and will be amazing moments. But as anyone who knows me knows – a lot of shit happens in our lives. Not unusual to give me a call and I say, “Good. Well I’m following the ambulance up to the hospital. No I can talk – the EMS guy is driving.” Haha – that has really happened.
I gift I have is to look back and remember only the good or find the funny in the not-so-funny in the moment kind of situation. “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” But you know what? I would not trade it for the life of me. I must be an idealist or an optimist or a masochist of something.
You know if I could fix things for my children and make their “problems disappear” or take them all on myself, I would. I might have a potty mouth (forget might!) and I might not be Mom of the Year but I know I am the best mother for them. And I hope my amazing kids learn that despite their challenges – to keep moving forward. To move onward & look upward. To keep smiling and laughing. To keep fighting and trying. To keep love in their lives. And I suppose more than anything – to embrace that which makes them unique. I don’t want them to have to wait until they’re old like me to finally like who they are.
I am still a mess I guess. I’m weird. Strange. Different. Eccentric. Erudite. All those words you apply to someone who just lives life a little against the grain. And so too are my kids. I’m glad for that and someday they will be to. But it won’t be until well after high school (because we all know being “different” in middle school and high school SUCKS!).
When life gets a little overwhelming for me. And when I feel like I’ve made all the wrong decisions – I look up at the sky and I see something beautiful and I am in awe and I dissolve into that moment. The self-doubt disappears and there is just that moment…
Here’s to a New Year and braving the storms with laughter and love. Here’s to my children for making me a better woman. Here’s to photography and writing for giving me freedom. Here’s to my family, my friends, and my Paul. Here’s to moving forward, cherishing the good things, and looking upward…
My mother has become quite the walker. She and that dog walk a lot. They’re a pair those two. They’ve been good for each other. Sophie the shelter dog, needing a home and someone to love her; my Mom, the rescuer, needing someone else to care for… the work.
So each day they walk and walk. And on that journey they pass this tree. Mom mentioned it to me often, asking me to take pictures. I wasn’t too sure what to expect: something pretty? Something gnarly (not really Mom’s style). But knowing she’s got a sense of things, I thought it worth a glance. And to be quite honest – I’d take pictures of a pile of poop if that’s what my Mom wanted. There’s really nothing I would not do for her.
I see a face caught in a moment of expression. What do you see in Mom’s Tree?
Why yes people - am alive and well. More than well but SUPERBLY busy. I have a new job, working as the “Product Evangelist” for a great little company called DecalGirl. Basically I’m doing PR and writing and Twittering and all that good stuff. I have been going full force and putting all my energy into my new role. And I am very happy professionally speaking. With all that in mind – I haven’t had much photog time GASSSSSP! Yes I know. I am sorely disappointed in myself. Perhaps this will tide you over – here is my new logo. My thanks to David Macomber Jr. (a photographer himself) for taking my thoughts and translating them PERFECTLY into this very art nouveau-ish image. Just what this doctor ordered! (I’m not a doctor by the way – close but not close enough! HA!). Peace all. I’ve missed this and hope you have too!
I am both honored and thrilled to have been featured in 1839, the blog of Dawn Schuck. In addition to the amazing artists of whom she has featured, you can check out my feature here: